the original Chopped

Last week was a busy one. After spin class Tuesday night I was so hungry I could have easily eaten a giant Chipotle burrito bowl with guacamole and chips on the side. I decided to forego my usual grocery run, since we were going to be out-of-town over Memorial Day weekend, and work with our current food inventory.

Ah snap here it comes – childhood story. I can’t help it. I remember one night when I was around 10 years old and my parents allowed my brother and I to stay home alone. I’m pretty sure they told us to eat cereal for dinner, or maybe they left some dinner for us, I do not recall. All I remember is convincing JP that we should make our own dinner using what was in the fridge and pantry. I can be very convincing. We basically created the premise for future cooking competition tv shows.

JP and I pulled out every liquid we could find in the fridge: ketchup, mustard, bbq sauce, ranch, old spaghetti sauce, Worcestershire, etc. You name it, we added it to our “soup” in a metal pot. Then I put said “soup” on the gas stove to heat up. Yes, the 10 year old was operating the gas stove unsupervised. We mixed and stirred as the flames rapidly heated up the concoction of crap. Now, the good news is that I turned the gas off. We added some crumbled up crackers, various seasonings, and maybe some pickles to top it off. This was the makings of a Top Chef winning dish. Things went awry when we decided that it all had to be reheated. Rather than wait for it to reheat on the gas stove, we turned to the microwave and said why yes, yes this machine will heat this soup up VERY quickly. And OBVIOUSLY it’s important to keep the metal lid on the metal pot when you heat it up in the microwave. What happened next is what I like to call a “learning experience”. From what I remember, we set the timer to 30 seconds and hit start. Literally ONE SECOND in microwave and our senses kicked in:

– We saw sparks

– We smelled something burning

– We heard a loud POP

– We didn’t dare touch the microwave, but if we would have I imagine we would have burned the skin off our little fingers

– We felt the fear of God because we knew our parents were going to mad as hell, or WORSE they would never let us stay home unsupervised again

After the shock wore off, we did what any professional criminal would do. We cleaned up the scene of the crime and got rid of all the evidence. All the ingredients were put away. The pot went in the recycle. We opened windows, turned on the fans and sprayed air freshener to clear the air. Thank God we didn’t fry the microwave. I’m pretty sure CJ and Harpo knew something had happened but they didn’t bother asking us about it.

So last week I didn’t get too adventurous with dinner, but thanks to Harpo I did have a delicious salad. He brought me fresh spinach from his garden and I love a green salad. IMG_4391 IMG_4392I heated up a cup and a half of Trader Joe’s Soycutash in the microwave (in a bowl – lesson learned) and mixed that with the greens. I topped it off with Trader Joe’s Hatch Valley Salsa (spicy green chile salsa) and some shredded cheese. IMG_4387Chuck was skeptical, but boy-oh-boy did he change his tune when I gave him some edamame. The salad was most definitely better than the mystery mixture I created back in the day. And nothing exploded this time so that shows I’ve made progress.

(Not pictured – the Trader Joe’s cookie butter cookies I just had to have for dessert).

2 thoughts on “the original Chopped

  1. (1) I love that you referred to your adventures in cooking as being like Chopped, I totally do the same thing when I don’t want to run to the store and Rob inevitably makes fun of me saying I’m not a TV competition chef. (haters gonna hate) (2) I have yet to try the Cookie Butter Cookies and you MUST REPORT BACK!!! They’re so meta.

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    1. We are just two gals you know how to make it work! And, girl you gotta try those cookie butter cookies. I’ll send some with Dean! And hopefully he won’t eat them before he gets to work.

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